Bush’s spiritual shield

Our fraud‐in‐chief’s speech today would make a good drinking game. Sip your alcoholic beverage whenever Bush says evil, terror, tax, business, or money.

For example, sip twice for Our war is a war against evil. This is clearly a case of Good vs. Evil. Sip twice for When they say a raise in taxes will help the country recover — not over my dead body will they raise your taxes.

Chug for every smirk, or for with us or with the US. Today’s Either you’re with the United States, or you’re not with the United States is worth two chugs.

Bush suggested people pray for a spiritual shield against the Evil Ones:

I think the thing, the prayer that I would like America to ask for is to pray for God’s protection for our land and our people, is to pray against that—that there is a shield of protection so that if the Evil Ones try to hit us again, that we have done everything we can physically, and that there is a spiritual shield that protects the country.

Maybe that’s why Shrub scrapped the ABM Treaty — we’re switching to prayer‐powered missile defense. Karma Wars. (Someday Chinese dragons and Islamic jinn will try to blast through our spiritual Wall of Jericho. Reminiscent of The Unthinkable, a short story by Bruce Sterling in which the military‐industrial complex uses Lovecraftian necromancy in a spiritual arms race to attack enemies’ souls.)

George, if your military strategy relies on God’s protection, you should avoid sins like invading a defenseless country and recklessly bombing thousands of innocent civilians.

According to televangelists Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, we’ve already lost God’s protection. Two days after 9/11 on The 700 Club, they blamed the attack on America being too secular:

Falwell: And I agree totally with you that the Lord has protected us so wonderfully these 225 years. And since 1812, this is the first time that we’ve been attacked on our soil and by far the worst results. And I fear, as Donald Rumsfeld, the secretary of defense, said yesterday, that this is only the beginning. And with biological warfare available to these monsters — the Husseins, the bin Ladens, the Arafats — what we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact— if, in fact— God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.

Robertson: Jerry, that’s my feeling. I think we’ve just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven’t even begun to see what they can do to the major population.

Falwell: The ACLU’s got to take a lot of blame for this.

Robertson: Well, yes.

Falwell: And, I know that I’ll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say, You helped this happen.

Robertson: Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government. And so we’re responsible as a free society for what the top people do.

The terrorists might agree with that.